Letter to An Old College Friend

Soooooo… get ready cuz im bleeding all over you right now….

I’m getting my Life Coaching Certification and I have to go through my story. As I trudge through the wreckage that is my story guess who I find staring back at me? YOU. Your loving, faithful heart. You are such a part of my story. You were there Tosca. YOU. WERE. THERE. YOU NEVER LEFT ME. YOU STAYED. You saw some of the hardest parts. The ugly grotesque Dawn. And you LOVED ME. YOU WERE MY FRIEND! YOU HELD ME AT MY WORST. I adore you still, even after all this time. ADORE YOU. Do you hear me??? LONG. FOR. YOU. You are precious to me. PLEASE DONT GIVE UP ON ME. DONT GIVE UP ON US. On Dawn and Tosca. There is nobody like us!!! There is no one else in my life like you, who holds my past and my heart like you do. TOSCA!!!!! You loved me before I knew Jesus, before I knew Harry, before I had children. YOU OCCUPY A UNIQUE PLACE IN MY HEART. NO ONE, and I mean NO ONE occupies the space you fill. But I’m in a better place now and I realize I want you to be a part of this part of my story…. for the REST of my story. I know we are trying to rebuild and have been for a long time. Please don’t give up on me. I need you. We have been on life support but that’s okay because even a thin thread between Dawn and Tosca is as strong as steel. And I NEED YOU TO KNOW in the bottom of your heart DOWN TO YOUR MARROW that I will ALWAYS LOVE YOU, ALWAYS NEED YOU AND ALWAYS WANT YOU. You are a part of me Tosca. I named my FIRST DAUGHTER after you because you are oxygen to me. Every time I hear her name I think of you, pray for you, LONG for you. I’m not going anywhere. We can survive this busy season. I am weak. I am not a good friend to you. Please forgive me for not knowing what is going on in your life. But I AM NOT GOING ANYWHERE. YOU ARE PRECIOUS TO ME. I don’t know how to show it in this busy season of our lives and it breaks my heart. BUT You have my whole heart for my whole life. Yes, you and I are rebuilding. But I’m here. No matter how long it takes I AM HERE. I love you Tosca. Mine is a weak love. My heart is a weak heart. But it is yours. It is yours.


2 thoughts on “Letter to An Old College Friend

  1. Dawn, your yearning and devotion is so evident– – thank you for letting us in to your life. I just wanna encourage you now and remind you of stuff you already know. Friendships go through seasons. You and Tosca have a strong history, so you’ll always have a place in each other’s lives. Your desire for a closer relationship with your old friend is powerful. Your ultimate desire is to honor God, so I encourage you in being patient as you steadfastly wait in hopeful anticipation of a time when you and Tosca can connect frequently and deeply.


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