But they are my “thing.” My mood-booster. The small item that brings me life and laces my synapses with a little joy as I embark on a full day of pouring out to others.
They help me remember that I am a WOMAN.
I want to encourage you to get a “thing,” too.
To find that little something that helps you through. Yes, we pray and beg God for strength and creative energy. Yes, we keep things in balance. But we serve a God of Delight, of Unshakeable Joy, who delights in every detail of our lives. He rejoices in what makes us light up inside as we pour out in motherhood. For me that is fashion and makeup, and namely insanely gorgeous shoes. For other strong mamas it is interior design (a trip to Home Goods can kindle the creative woman inside and can be as good a mood stabilizer as Prozac. Or Valium. Or maybe a glass of wine. Go with a budget.) or working out or tea or coffee or colorful accessories. Or whatever.
THE POINT HERE IS TO RECALL YOUR SOUL. DO NOT LIVE AND DRESS AND BREATHE AS IF YOU HAVE RESIGNED MOTHERHOOD TO A JOB SLATHERED IN GREY DRUDGERY.
Drudgery is a choice. Yoga pants everyday are a choice. Mom jeans are a choice. Bed head all day is a choice. But I present to you that unless they are your “thing,” unless they bring you joy and remind you of your femininity they are a POOR choice. They (and all their compatriots such as mom flops, oversized college sweatshirts, ponytails in ball caps or my least favorite “perpetually-in-gym-clothes-mom”) are the Uniform of Monotony. The Garb of Blah. The Attire of Resignation.
Please don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying we must dress for the red carpet all the time or that going to the grocery store in yoga pants is a sin. Or even bad. I TOTALLY GET there are days when slipping into sweats is like taking a warm bath. When the morning goes to hell and rank yoga pants are seriously the best option and no one had better suggest otherwise. There are seasons of life with babies where we wake up and can’t remember the last time we showered (which means what about our underwear?) or brushed our teeth. When I had 5 babies under the age of 7 I wore the same black pants everyday for a year. Seriously, I just changed my shirt.
I get it.
I’m not talking about the days or weeks or even seasons where child-absorption is in the air we breathe and we are just surviving. We’ve all been there.
But it is dangerous to stay there.
I’m talking about what I see so often: moms who are over-absorbed in their kids and who have laid down self at the altar called “Children.”
Moms who have forgotten they are beautiful women with feminine curves and creativity & desires for joy.
Incredible women who are bathed in magnificence but have somehow lost something of themselves along the way.
Is that you?
It is me, sometimes.
Now, I’m not suggesting that a change in clothes or a trip to Starbucks will help us find our purpose or bring meaning to our parenting. This post is not written to do that. But my goodness, don’t those things help? Motherhood is the heaviest mantle you will ever carry, we should wholeheartedly utilize every tool available to us to lighten the load.
So…. What lightens your load?
Don’t underestimate the power of lovely things in your life. I have found that spending even 15 minutes on myself makes a huge difference in how I feel because those few minutes mean I VALUE MYSELF. THEY ARE AN INVESTMENT in my inner self. My “me” that was here before husband or kiddos or mortgage payments or carpool.
Mama, it is okay for you to have something lovely for you. That brings you back to you. That spurs you on to care for your babies with whatever flare you need to make it just a little more fun. A little more fabulous. A little more YOU.
In other words, don’t underestimate the power of lipgloss. Or cashmere. Or a silk robe. Or a fresh blow-out. Or hot yoga. Or new sheets. Or a fabulous purse. Or matching underwear. Or 5-inch over the knee black leather boots. Or whatever brand of loveliness will lace your pace in joy.
Mama, if you haven’t already, go get you a “thing!”
Stay Strong, DJ